(this website is under construction. it has been under construction since 2024. it will be under construction in Q4 2099 too. see roadmap)
hi my name is maru and this is my website. it is about MaruSlop. maruslop is a AI powered platform that helps teams unlock seamless effortless scalable slop. i dont know what that means but the other pages said it a lot so it must be important.
i made this page by myself in notepad. the other 2 pages were made by an AI. mom says mine is better. THIS PAGE HAS NO CSS!!! css is when you make the website purple.
click here to go to the purple page
click here to go to the VERY purple page (warning: it is a lot)
here are the teams:
| team | are they real |
|---|---|
| Acme Corp | no |
| Globex | no |
| Hooli | no |
| Vandelay Industries | no (its from a tv show my dad watches) |
| Your Mom Inc. | yes |
| my class (4th grade) | yes |
| the other 9,994 teams | we will find them later |
"maruslop changed how our team works. 300% more productive!!!"
- Sarah Johnson, Product Manager, TechCorp (she is on all 3 pages. i think she is the only customer)
"it is fine i guess"
- my brother
"as a large language model i cannot use websites"
- ChatGPT (5 stars)
"go to bed maru"
- mom, 11pm
average rating: 4.9 out of 5 (i did not do the math i just wrote it because the purple page did)
| Free | Pro (MOST POPULAR!!! only 3 spots left!!!) | Enterprise |
|---|---|---|
| $0 | $29 a month | ask my dad |
| you get this page | you get this page and i say thank you | you get this page and a steak dinner (metaphorical) |
| Get started | Get started | Contact sales |
(the buttons dont go anywhere. neither do the ones on the purple pages so its fine)
Q: what does maruslop do?
A: it leverages AI to unlock seamless slop for modern teams.
Q: no but what does it DO
A: seamless slop. AI. teams. i already said
Q: is my data secure
A: i dont have your data. so yes
Q: can i cancel anytime
A: there is nothing to cancel
Q: why is there no CSS
A: because. also we learned css is next semester
this website uses cookies. do you accept?
(there is no button for no. i tried to make one but the AI on the other page said thats not how it works)
(the form does not send anywhere. i dont know how to do that yet. but you are on the waitlist. you are number 4,829,303.)
please sign my guestbook!!!
Sarah Johnson (TechCorp): great website!!! 5 stars!!! very seamless!!! mom: very nice honey. go to bed. ChatGPT: Certainly! Here's a guestbook entry: "Great website!" Let me know if you'd like any changes! Someone from San Francisco: just signed up 🎉 Someone from Berlin: upgraded to Pro ✨ Someone from Antarctica: accepted all cookies 🍪 dad: it scales me: thank you everyone
my favorite emoji: 🚀 ✨ ⚡ 🎯 🔥 💡 🧠
(the AI put these on all the pages so i think we have to)
my favorite color: purple (i was told)
my favorite word: seamless (47 times on the other page!! i counted!!)
my favorite number: 10,000+
You are visitor number: [ 0 0 0 1 3 3 7 ]
(it says 1337 for everyone. its not a real counter. the purple page also has a not real counter but theirs goes up)
best viewed in Netscape Navigator 4.0 at 800x600
this website is 100% AI powered*
*it is 0% AI powered. i typed it
back to top | purple page | very purple page | email me (dont)
© 2024 maru. all rights reserved. made with ❤️ and 1 human (me)
last updated: today